Unironically, try Windows 8.0 (not 8.1). It's probably as safe (or perhaps slightly safer) like XP.
I've tried 8.0 on my XP laptop (some Pentium M with Centrino chipset), and wow... Other than the lack of graphics drivers, I have NEVER seen this laptop be this fast
hahahaha I'm half way through a bag off my Volcano and my tolerance is way down because I haven't been smoking much lately, so I was a little slow to catch that that was what your angle was
I've tried 8.0 on my XP laptop (some Pentium M with Centrino chipset), and wow... Other than the lack of graphics drivers, I have NEVER seen this laptop be this fast