Oh. In that case, it might work anyway. Navigate to an http-only site (something like http://detectportal.firefox.com/ ), and it should theoretically redirect to the portal. Assuming the portal isn't JS-heavy (like too much of the internet is...
I don't know if an upload option will be useful at this point. What would you upload? Sites like Google Drive don't even seem to work properly without Javascript.
I'm not sure what to put on the upper screen yet. Maybe some information on...
Cruisn on the Wii is one of my personal examples of that, it's considered one of the worst games of all time, I loved it and completed it several times.