My dad might as well be a Disney Princess when it comes to birds

We've previously established in dad-blogs that my father loves birds. Like, birds bring him utter joy. To the point where he yoinked one out of a parking lot and brought it home and turned it into a pet. That, in his complete excitement at finally owning a bird for himself, he struggled through reading books about birds and how to best take care of them, despite having a very hard time understanding most of the words.

Owning one bird isn't enough bird joy for him, though. With quarantine, he has decided to become "king of the bird". He bought all sorts of different birdseed and found all sorts of random knickknacks around the house. Then, my dad tied the objects to our five trees outside, creating multiple places for the birds to safely eat. Sometimes, I'll just find him awake at 6AM staring out the window, excitedly looking at all the different birds on the trees. I've seen cardinals, grackle, bluejays, doves, birds I can't even name, and dad's favorite, the regular everyday pigeon.

As a side-note, when my dad was a little kid, living in Iran, he lived in a large home, with a big field. He asked his own dad, as a birthday present, to build him a small barn without a roof. So he did, and my dad would bring bread and pita out from dinner, and leave it in the barn. Birds would then fly in through the top to eat the food. According to my uncle, my dad had "at least a hundred of the darned things", pigeons and assorted birds of all kinds coming and going from the barn each day, and it was my dad's favorite thing in the whole world. So I suppose it explains why he loves birds so much.

In another instance, a few years ago right before, or on Easter Day, there was a parakeet in our backyard. My dad was amazed that such a weird bird happened to be hanging around, so he set out some bread and climbed a tree, waiting for it to land. He was out there for hours, and my mom was convinced that my dad was insane. But, eventually, he came back inside holding a parakeet, holding it with clear adoration in his eyes. He even walked around our street, bragging to everyone outside that he caught a parakeet. ...Until he found the owner of the parakeet, who was amazed that my dad had managed to save his pet. He ended up giving my dad 50 bucks for the return of the parrot, to which my dad excitedly claimed that the Jesus Bird had blessed him with free money.

But today, he was looking out the window, and was very, very upset. He looked me in the eye, dead serious, and said "THERE IS A MONSTER IN THE YARD!!!". Of course, hearing the word monster is startling. What could it mean?! Was there a raccoon? An armadillo? feral dog?

No.

It was a small, tiny, squirrel.

But it was a monster because it had decided to steal the birdseed. The worst possible sin that could be committed, in the eyes of my dad. So he shooed it away. And it ran. And it came back. And dad shooed it away, and it came back. An endless cycle, of two determined beings. One wanted to just eat birdseed, the other wanted to protect the bounty he had left for his precious birds.

Currently, my dad is outside trying to tie the birdseed holders to things that the squirrel can't get onto, but to give the little guy credit, he sure can jump far, and has foiled my dad at every point so far. Godspeed, dad, may you win in your fight against the evil monster.

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Haha I love that his favorite is the common pigeon

Squirrels are little punks - they inevitably get through every bird feeder defense. I wish your father good luck in his battle against the little monsters
 
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D
Haha, you should show him the Dumbo movie from 1941!
He will love it!:D
 
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There is no way to win against squirrels by building a better shield.
You need a rifle or a trap, or to train one of your cats (though that would also lead to them catching birds and I do not imagine that going over too well). Some people seem to have affection for squirrels but really they are just rats with fuzzy tails.
 
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Aww, I ran into a squirrel yesterday, and they are just too adorable!
The one I saw yesterday was a lot more red/orange than yours, and had fluffier ears :)
 
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I don't hate birds, just what's left behind all around the place when there gone, Someone should learn birds to just drop it on the neighbours ground, not on mine. :)
 
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As if you didn't already have enough cats staring out the window at birds all day, now you've got your dad doing it too smdh
 
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So, now which princess would he be? Don’t say Ariel, she took my heart when I was 12 and I’ll never forget her and her red hair. Mmmmm

Instead, maybe he is Jasmine, or perhaps Aurora.
 
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Another wild ride of a blog post - love it - and wishing your dad all the best against this monster problem he is facing. God Speed good soldier, godspeed o7
 
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We keep a couple of bird feeders outside here, and we get around 30-40 birds every morning eating off of them. We'll give them whatever bread or cereal goes bad, and then each bird type that we have gets their own special feeder if needed. The best thing about them is that they know well enough that when they have to go, they fly over to the neighbors roof or car, do their thing there, and then come back for more food.
 
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@DjoeN I especially love it when they drop it on my nice red Volkswagen Jetta that, if the weather and skies wasn't being such an emo atm, in addition to the lockdown, I wouldn't mind taking it on a joyride with a hot babe atm with this playing over the stereo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAtSGqB5I-k
 
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@Chary My advice: If you don't want to harm the squirrel, have your dad invest in one of those bird feeders that block out squirrels. They sell 'em at Home Depot. I'm sure if you pick the right one, your dad will win the fight over the little monster.

Also, if you can convince your dad that he isn't so much a monster as much as he is hungry, maybe get some squirrel food and set it in a place away from where the birds eat. That way, he can still be around without bothering the birds.
 
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"invest in one of those bird feeders that block out squirrels. They sell 'em at Home Depot. I'm sure if you pick the right one, your dad will win the fight over the little monster."
No such thing, at least assuming you still want to feed the birds. If there ever was such a thing then it would not be sold in a DIY shop either and instead probably look like a floating birdfeeder nowhere near any tree, branch, hanging wire or something to leap from.
Squirrels might be somewhat stupid but they are tenacious and climb like little ninjas.
 

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