1.Preliminary remark
As my avatar shows, I like the Mother/Earthbound series – although it was never released in Europe until the Wii U VC version. I got my Wii U at the beginning of this year and bought Earthbound and Earthbound Zero some months ago – and knew immediately I had missed something really good in the past. Now I even have the Japanese Mother 3 GBA cartridge with packaging and booklet (Earthbound for SNES is too expensive). I’ve dumped the ROM and will start playing the English fan translation on the 3DS soon.
There is this song, Bein’ friends. I love it. Even if you’re not familiar with Mother/Earthbound you might know the melody from Smash Bros. Here it is with lyrics in the subtitles:
This part in particular, but the whole lyrics in general, is exactly what I used to think about friendship. This is what friendship should mean!
2. Main part
Sadly it worked (mostly) only in one direction. This is about a former friend. She’s only one example. Similar things happened with other people, too. The problem is, I trusted her ultimately. I thought: “No way! She’s not one of those!”
She had trouble with her (now ex-) boyfriend. Suddenly she stood at my door and told me about her feelings/problems for hours. That’s what bein’ a friend is about. Other personal trouble? One e-mail and Sina was there. If a friend needed me, all he/she had to do is come over/call me. In the middle of the night, if necessary. This is still true – assuming one is able to wake me up despite of Mirtazapine (which has an effect on me like a mallet on the head).
We used to meet often. But as my old problems from teenage times hit me again – out of nowhere – she gradually distanced from me. As soon as I was the one really needing help, the friendship went downhill.
“Tomorrow is really bad. I’ve no time!”
“Sorry, but in the next two or three weeks there is SOOOO much to be done.”
“Did I really forget to answer your mail? Must have overlooked it.”
When we met, it was never like before. But I still thought: “She’s not one of those! There must be a good reason for her behavior.”
Then she finally left her boyfriend… and suddenly she had time for me. So that was the reason. Only the bad relationship. I knew it! She’s not one of those! We met often again. Then she started a new relationship soon after the breakup. I got to know her new boyfriend. He’s definitely okay. It did not take long for her to distance again from me.
When I did not mail… for weeks… there was nothing. When I mailed, she had no time. Then suddenly a phone call:
“Please come by tomorrow. I got to tell you something.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” I said.
“Not on the phone!” she answered like in a bad detective story.
I have some serious trouble with my brain. Concentration is almost impossible at times. Learning new things is hard. Very hard. But I’m not a complete moron! Thanks to previous knowledge I was able to interpolate the missing information. Sure enough there was no crime involved. No detective story. “Dang it!” I said to myself after hanging up the phone. “Can’t she just say: ‘I’m pregnant.’ Where’s the problem?”
Because her big surprise did not surprise me a bit, she got angry. I sat silently on a chair as she told me about her pregnancy and did not move a muscle. It did not impress me. I did not jump up from the chair and scream like mad. She was and is well aware of the fact that I do not burst out in ridiculous emotions. But she got angry anyway about my lack of madness.
“You always told me you love children! Aren’t you happy about this? You can participate a little on this.” She was also well aware about the fact I can’t have own children. Before the friendship went downhill, I would have indeed believed that this was a chance for me. I already knew better. We did not meet very often after this despite she promised otherwise.
Months went by. The baby was born – she did not tell me. More months went by. Then, all of a sudden there was a mail in my inbox. It was a little longer but similar to this:
Hi Sina,
I’m fine. <Name of her baby> is fine. The rest [sic!] is fine, too. Bla bla bla bla… Small talk… Unimportant story…
I’ve a problem with the computer… want to come over?
Greetings <her Name>
If computers were sensitive to curse words, my computer would likely have exploded. You do not even want to know what I shouted at my poor computer. I waited a few days to think thoroughly about this. Forebonding… But I had to know the truth. There was no other way. I visited her. Boy, was she warm-hearted and friendly. So sorry for not mailing and calling, but pregnancy you know… (as if her behavior started to change with the pregnancy and not two years before).
I fixed her computer. That was it. No change after this. But now… at least I know for sure: She is indeed one of those. Face it, Sina!
The computer seems to have had no problems anymore since then. Or she found another idiot for fixing it. I now actively avoid her although there has never been an open conflict.
Similar things have happened multiple times in my life. I’m so disappointed. So very disappointed.
There is a brilliant description for this (it is not my own idea):
As my avatar shows, I like the Mother/Earthbound series – although it was never released in Europe until the Wii U VC version. I got my Wii U at the beginning of this year and bought Earthbound and Earthbound Zero some months ago – and knew immediately I had missed something really good in the past. Now I even have the Japanese Mother 3 GBA cartridge with packaging and booklet (Earthbound for SNES is too expensive). I’ve dumped the ROM and will start playing the English fan translation on the 3DS soon.
There is this song, Bein’ friends. I love it. Even if you’re not familiar with Mother/Earthbound you might know the melody from Smash Bros. Here it is with lyrics in the subtitles:
“I'd follow you to the end of the Earth
That's how much I think our friendship is worth
Maybe now you have figured it out
That's what bein' a friend is about”
That's how much I think our friendship is worth
Maybe now you have figured it out
That's what bein' a friend is about”
This part in particular, but the whole lyrics in general, is exactly what I used to think about friendship. This is what friendship should mean!
2. Main part
Sadly it worked (mostly) only in one direction. This is about a former friend. She’s only one example. Similar things happened with other people, too. The problem is, I trusted her ultimately. I thought: “No way! She’s not one of those!”
She had trouble with her (now ex-) boyfriend. Suddenly she stood at my door and told me about her feelings/problems for hours. That’s what bein’ a friend is about. Other personal trouble? One e-mail and Sina was there. If a friend needed me, all he/she had to do is come over/call me. In the middle of the night, if necessary. This is still true – assuming one is able to wake me up despite of Mirtazapine (which has an effect on me like a mallet on the head).
“Thank you, Sina, I will help you in return, any time you need.”
We used to meet often. But as my old problems from teenage times hit me again – out of nowhere – she gradually distanced from me. As soon as I was the one really needing help, the friendship went downhill.
“Tomorrow is really bad. I’ve no time!”
“Sorry, but in the next two or three weeks there is SOOOO much to be done.”
“Did I really forget to answer your mail? Must have overlooked it.”
When we met, it was never like before. But I still thought: “She’s not one of those! There must be a good reason for her behavior.”
Then she finally left her boyfriend… and suddenly she had time for me. So that was the reason. Only the bad relationship. I knew it! She’s not one of those! We met often again. Then she started a new relationship soon after the breakup. I got to know her new boyfriend. He’s definitely okay. It did not take long for her to distance again from me.
When I did not mail… for weeks… there was nothing. When I mailed, she had no time. Then suddenly a phone call:
“Please come by tomorrow. I got to tell you something.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” I said.
“Not on the phone!” she answered like in a bad detective story.
I have some serious trouble with my brain. Concentration is almost impossible at times. Learning new things is hard. Very hard. But I’m not a complete moron! Thanks to previous knowledge I was able to interpolate the missing information. Sure enough there was no crime involved. No detective story. “Dang it!” I said to myself after hanging up the phone. “Can’t she just say: ‘I’m pregnant.’ Where’s the problem?”
Because her big surprise did not surprise me a bit, she got angry. I sat silently on a chair as she told me about her pregnancy and did not move a muscle. It did not impress me. I did not jump up from the chair and scream like mad. She was and is well aware of the fact that I do not burst out in ridiculous emotions. But she got angry anyway about my lack of madness.
“You always told me you love children! Aren’t you happy about this? You can participate a little on this.” She was also well aware about the fact I can’t have own children. Before the friendship went downhill, I would have indeed believed that this was a chance for me. I already knew better. We did not meet very often after this despite she promised otherwise.
Months went by. The baby was born – she did not tell me. More months went by. Then, all of a sudden there was a mail in my inbox. It was a little longer but similar to this:
Hi Sina,
I’m fine. <Name of her baby> is fine. The rest [sic!] is fine, too. Bla bla bla bla… Small talk… Unimportant story…
I’ve a problem with the computer… want to come over?
Greetings <her Name>
If computers were sensitive to curse words, my computer would likely have exploded. You do not even want to know what I shouted at my poor computer. I waited a few days to think thoroughly about this. Forebonding… But I had to know the truth. There was no other way. I visited her. Boy, was she warm-hearted and friendly. So sorry for not mailing and calling, but pregnancy you know… (as if her behavior started to change with the pregnancy and not two years before).
I fixed her computer. That was it. No change after this. But now… at least I know for sure: She is indeed one of those. Face it, Sina!
The computer seems to have had no problems anymore since then. Or she found another idiot for fixing it. I now actively avoid her although there has never been an open conflict.
Similar things have happened multiple times in my life. I’m so disappointed. So very disappointed.
There is a brilliant description for this (it is not my own idea):
The principle of usefulness.
I want you around – if you’re useful at the moment; else… you may dissolve into the air.
