Love is Barbed Wire

I know, I know, the title is way too fucking emo. Well, this post probably will seem like that too.

Bear with me as I try to work out a difficult problem.

You know, the term "misogynist" gets thrown around out there a lot, often quite undeservedly. I know it's undeserved for one simple reason.

I genuinely despise women.

I know that seems like some stupid blanket statement, but I am well aware that not all women can even possibly fit the material of what I hate about them. I'm sure there's a great female out there with a great personality, but I've personally never met one.

I'm perfectly aware that what I'm experiencing is on an anecdotal level, and in some aspects, I am unsatisfied with this opinion on females, as it's woefully underinformed. But I just can't deny my feelings, as much as I wish I could keep them in tune with my logic.

Truth is, I've never met a female in my entire life who was nice or sweet or kind. My mother talked shit about my Dad every single day I lived with her. Not even once did she ever have anything nice to say about him. I've never once heard "I love you" come out of her mouth. All she ever does is start shit with him. I know that seems rather generalized, but I'm quite serious here. I have *very* carefully combed my memories for even one single hint of good will or anything like that expressed from my Mom to my Dad.

My niece, who is a lot more like my little sister, shoves her boyfriend around constantly. Both my Dad and my nephew-in-law cower every time, to my Mom and niece respectively. They like saying the same stupid shit that everyone says on television and jokes about in bars. "She sure put me in the doghouse! Huhuhuhuhuh!" Worst part is that when the females start shit, the *guys* end up sleeping on the couch! What's with the preferential treatment?

Anyway, I somehow can't imagine my life with a female being any better. Maybe it's because I've been isolated most of my life and I've only seen women act like parasites to otherwise decent, respectable guys. That's why I often think, "My life will be much better if I don't interact with women." But when I say these things, my heart sinks. I don't really understand it; I fucking hate romance shows, and I think that even "true" love is nothing more than a charade put on by the people who desire it.

I feel awful if I consider getting a girlfriend, and I feel just as bad considering not having one. It's a real catch-22.

Well, I doubt anyone will give a shit about this blog. I know it seems like I'm an awful human being, and maybe I am. If nothing else, this is just me reflecting on it.

I'm gonna kick myself in the morning for publishing this, but I almost feel clearer just for having said it.

Still a paradox, though....maybe I should just cut my balls off. (No joke, actually considering this.)

Comments

Sterling
I give a shit. :) I don't think you're awful, but I do think feeling like you do is quite normal for someone who grew up in a house like the one you did. If all the female role-models you grew up with were bitches, you're going to view them that way. That being said, figure out what you want. If you want love, you have to put some effort in to find it. If you date around, chances are your prejudices will follow you and ruin anything good you can have.

If that ends up being the case, you may need counseling or some form of therapy to come to terms with your attitude and overcome it. No shame in that, but if you let it color your life, you bring shame upon yourself and your potential lover.

If you don't want love, do you want children? There's options there too, but sometimes two parents are better than one. You're young like me with plenty of time to figure it out, but the important thing is to understand yourself before you try to understand someone else. And that my friend is the two way street that is relationship hell.
 
Wolvenreign
Well, seems like robots would be a more straightforward solution. All of the usefulness, none of the drama. And no, I don't want kids.

Anyway, Sterling, I do have good news for you. I'm actually making progress in writing The Forever Game. I'm taking it a bit slower this time, trying not to zoom so fast to the really climactic bits.
 
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Sterling
Robots eh? Haha, I remember when I said the same thing.

Good stuff, I'm actually entering the final phase of editing Terrestria's final draft. It needed a small re-work, and once that's done, line editing. Hopefully I'll be on the road to mass rejection by the end of the year!

Where are you at in The Forever Game? Seems like yesterday when you posted it. :D
 
G
So you're using a couple anecdotal examples (mother, niece, sister, etc.) to generalize an entire gender. Seems reasonable.
 
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Sterling
No, he's using his own experiences to look at why he despises women, not generalize. Unlike people who actually generalize, he understands that he's wrong. Some people can't help but feel one way even if it's wrong.
 

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