axe

yesterday night at 2am i woke up. i went to go get some sleeping pills cos insomnia but when i got up i felt really dizzy so i fell to the floor slowly and i said "no no haha no no" a few times. then, once i stopped having my stroke or whatever i got back up and halfway through the door i started to cry.

because i realized that i am fucking crazy. so i just whispered to myself, "why cant i be normal" and then i went to go get sleep pills and then i ate some brownies while tears rolled down my face. then i went back upstairs to my room, and drew an axe.

View attachment 219109

the saddest thing about this is that it actually happened.

Comments

@cauliquackers most likely, i'll need to wait a little while longer though. due to corona and whatnot. come about a month, i'll be going back to school(unless things change) and i got resources to use there.
 
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Oh wait... this is TomRannd?
Thought you were the guy that draws objects.

Hey... are you sick or something?
 
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@JuanMena

not sick, just feeling down. nothing i can do about it besides wait till i can get the right help. i'm not one to hurt myself though, so i should be safe.
 
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But you said "Stroke"
You sure you had one? Because I kinda know how to uh... control them.
Just saying pal.
 
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no clue of what it was, to be honest. it just felt very weird and un natural. i might have gotten up to fast, i might have not been hydrated enough, could have been a number of things.

i also know how to control things like that, at least, well what i have sometimes lol. i just need to sit/lay down and wait for it to blow over. then get up slowly. works like a charm.
 
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To me sounds like Stress.
Have you been sleeping / eating well?

I feel like this when I stop eating for 6 days (don't worry is a personal challenge)

Take more care of you pal, you're still too young to get sick.
Just... take a deep breath and excersice regularly, cut off some of your carbs and lower your salt and sugar consumption.
 
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alright, i'll try giving that a whirl. just gotta look forward to the future lol.

i sleep like shit. i have intense insomnia. nuff' said. i eat fine, just really whatever my parents cook for dinner. i'm learning bits and pieces for when i live on my own lol.

maybe i'll try doin that keto diet with my parents. i hear that's a good one for cutting carbos and sodiums.
 
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Yeah, sleeping like shit could be a probable cause.
Try to sleep well, like... wake when your body tells you to wake and sleep when your body tells you to sleep.

You don't have to change your diet radically.
Just lower your consumption. If you cut off or change your diet too fast your body won't be able to take it.

Or do as I do, eat and drink as much and as many as you want as long as you beat your ass excercising.
In that way you'll be able to burn as much grease/calories/sugars and at the same time enhance your body to absorb vitamins and minerals quickly.

I use to eat 6 to 8 eggs for breakfast, just saying.

And even though we've talked before and you know my problem, I'm proud to say that this particular life style of eating and excercising regularly hasn't affected me at all. It actually has improved my health a lot :yay:
 
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hah, well it sounds easy enough. waking up when i feel like is not able to be a thing sadly, simple because my pills(adhd, depression, etc) need to be taken before 11am. sure i still have some sleep in time but yeah you get me. i try to do the sleep when body tells you to sleep too, but my mind is racing! once again, adhd seems to be the problem. by the time i go to bed on a daily basis, my meds have worn off lol. call me complain-man!

i used to work out, i'd go to the gym and do boxing and i'd also help the lil ones out. but ever since the outbreak, that's not a thing. i should do shit like this at home but i never have the time and room. i smell a schedule being needed?

and that's good, glad to hear it works out for you. i would assume it'll work out for me too. maybe. i dunno but only one way to figure out!
 
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You're on pills?
Hey, I got pills too, but never accepted them. Way back in 2015. Docs called them "Vitamins" but hey! I'm way smarter, my IQ of 82 told me that those weren't vitamins at all.

I've been handling with my mental health in my own way.
I don't even take pills when I have a cold or a headache (the only pills I take is the ones to prevent / cure diarrhea and that's only if I'm about to go outside)

The reason why I draw a lot is because that's my way to relax my mind. So I don't know how it is to be on pills.
That's something new pal :creep:

I guess... you'll lose nothing if you try my way.

But yeah pal, take greater care of you and your mental health.
Maybe... try dissapearing from the Internet for some time? Like... no social networks, no news, etc.

PS: Just took a very much needed shower.
 
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i have insomnia too, but instead rely on pills i do 30 push-ups and ended sleep as a heavy stone :D

The muscle contraction urges me go to sleep to repair the damage, so instead going to sleep at 4am everydays, now i'M FORCED go to sleep at 2am! IT FUCKING WORKS! Far better than pills!
 
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Can also confirm, I sleep so much better after doing some exercise, cardio or muscle work are both good. (But I can play game while doing cardio so that's what I usually do). Must do the cardio at least 2 hours before bed, to let the adrenaline get out of your system. Push-ups should work really well as Leon said. Less adrenaline rush.

I used to take ADD meds too, got off of them many years ago but still don't sleep that great. Likely because I play games until midnight or 1am. That blue light from screens really can keep you up.

Sometimes audio books or podcasts can help me fall asleep quicker. Much faster than watching an old movie or something on screen.

Meditation can really help also, but I'm not very good at doing that anymore. Clear the mind so the body may rest.
 
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I´ḿ just crazy old me.
I sleep about 3 hours have baggy eyes and am general crazy. Getting sleeping pils is more of a struggle than just staying awake.
I comitted sucide but failed and ended up in a mental ward.
Now I´m half past 30, sleep deprived, baggy eyes, crazy and I think Lost Sphere is a great game, that´s fine.
Sleeping pills and axes won´t change that anyway.
Stay strong.
 
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