Money Centered – Unsorted fragment explaing a little why I had to move

This will probably become too long again. Trying my best to keep it short.

Since 2014 I have been living with my mum in a house that belong my father for rent. I’ve invested several hundred, if not several thousand work hours into repairing damage and improving everything on said house as good as I could. My life being an utter failure I have to try my best. I was convinced this would be appreciated at some point.

German proverb: “Undank ist der Welten Lohn!” literally “Ingratitude is the world’s reward!” or as I have in my signature: “No good deed goes unpunished.”

Describing all the previous incidents that brought me to the point where I am now… that would fill several books, and honestly I don’t feel like writing that down (nobody would want to read it anyway).

In the last few years my father gradually became increasingly obnoxious. Again, unfolding the details goes too far.

Over the years the service charges for the house had been wrong. Severely wrong. But we never said anything and just paid (without even seeing any invoices or receipts). In the year 2021 he showed up a my birthday (against my will) to bring me an incomplete (missing CD2) PC game as a gift. Being in the house he used the opportunity to insult me (and further even mum) in the worst way imaginable shouting like raving monkey. This was followed by weeks or months of psycho-terror with ongoing noise around the house (which we usually answered by driving away).


Calm periods alternated with impossible behavior. 2022 I was gifted another defective PC game – an unreadable SafeDisc infected title I had to polish several hours to dump the CD (if he had known I actually enjoy such tasks…)

I’ll jump over the alternating peace and aggression to the point in early 2023 when mum finally had enough of the ridiculous billing and demanded receipts (which to no surprise showed the billing was wrong). So for the first time she denied paying this until corrected. As an answer we were ordered to remove our stuff – including heating material from the barn, which was not part of rental agreement (not mentioning the several hundred work hours I have put into that barn additionally, not mentioning the metric tons of garbage we had removed on our costs and several other little things). Reason: We are not willing to pay service charges. A gross lie.

Well, that was the last straw! He profited from us beyond any description and when mum had enough of being ripped off, he went berserk mode and pulled some more legal bullshit. Because of our impertinence of answering his legal bullshit with legal bullshit he fully lost his temper.

Our answer was a the decision to move. Choosing the lesser of two evils, I’m now in what feels like prison (concrete desert aka city). But we had to minimize the impact. The big move, which surprised the men from the moving company looking at the amount of things even after we had been transporting things with our car for weeks before, was stressful and going way beyond our capabilities. Most work is done now. Some things are missing. But now we are in our own house. Peace at last?

===========================

When giving my father the keys at the 31th of July he was tame (you never know how he reacts). He tried to find something he could rebuke… but the house is 1000% better than before we rented it. So finally no contact anymore? Chapter finished? No, not so naive. In the weeks between the cancellation of the rental agreement he had obviously tried to find proof for getting more money out of us… just to find out it was the other way round. Probably tenants in his other houses had clipped his wings. Gritting his teeth, he admitted to the false accounts and promised to pay several hundred €€€ back (which he was not obliged for older cases to due to statute of limitation – we didn't ask for getting anything back).

We simply don’t want any contact anymore. And we don’t care for the money either. He got on our nerves twice by trying to call and by texting after we moved. But then we thought is was over. Until today
==========================


Today my mother got a message via WhatsApp. He demanded(!) her to be at a specific location tomorrow(!) at 10:00am for giving her the money (because he had no bank account number???).

She answered “No.” and sent him the account number via SMS (that account will soon get terminated anyway so no problem).
Next message: “For almost 1000€ you can come!”
Mother: “Send the money via bank transfer or not. I don’t care and I don’t want to meet.”

What does he think we are? A donkey that gets animated to walk faster by holding a carrot in front of it?

Finally his last message (we didn’t answer anymore)

“And then wait for the inheritance…”
🤦‍♀️
That statement was obviously targeted at me, as an ex-wife gets nothing anyway. It is not the first, second, third or 20th time he is showing being fully centered around money. And he believes anybody must be the same. He genuinely believes I’m sitting here waiting for the message he died… to happily grab my heritage. Really, he is convinced of this nonsense. I’m probably disinherited anyway for years by his will (and he still fears I might fight for statutory share).
I can't stop facepalming.
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Last time I told him I didn't care for any heritage he used the engine as argumentation (hopping into the car and… Wroooooom! Gone he was.)

Comments

It is true that unfortunately you have ended up in a concrete prison, but at least you have freed yourself from your tormentor.
The way you describe him, he is a very dangerous person, without moral conscience or compassion, and capable of any kind of cruelty.
You were right not to send your mother alone to meet him. I recommend you, if you really have to see him in person, let yourself be accompanied by some other relative/acquaintance, to avoid possible retaliation or anything else on his part.
Inheritance is now the least of your worries. Keeping your distance, still try to maintain a diplomatic relationship with him, without attacking or annoying him, avoiding that his anger does explode and do some madness towards you. Always keep an eye out for his reactions or provocations. Don't let your guard down.
Good luck.
 
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Keeping your distance, still try to maintain a diplomatic relationship with him
Neither my mum nor myself want any form of contact in the future.

let yourself be accompanied by some other relative/acquaintance,
There is literally nobody – and that is good.

Inheritance is now the least of your worries.
Agreed. I don't care much for money. But some people (he is not the only one) are never going to learn that.
 
Better no longer "loose" one single Thought on him.....get rid of him as quick as you can - metaphorically speaking.
Clear you Mind,your Memory (Gehirn/Speicher),your Memory (Erinnerung).
Never think of him...same for your Mother.....get him out of both your lifes Please.
Ignore everything,every single "Contact - Try".....
No more Reaction,nothing.....
Otherwise you will never get rid of him !


To the "Come on, you can't do that..." People:

Yes,Sinchen can.Read her Blog Entries and you maybe understand.
He had his Chances the get Peace with Sinchen - Tons of it....he missed all of them..
 

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