The topic about this isn't too serious, but hey, we can post whatever, right?
So, my friend started writing stories. And I hate them. I don't hate them with a burning passion, but I hate them in a way that they suck. Really suck. He started writing them once he got this idea for some lamely annoying series that he though of, and he started writing ugly stories ever since. It was a very lazy attempt that I've talked to all of my friends with the exception of him.
He's a good friend, he's nice. But his stories suck. Yet for some reason, he doesn't seem to acknowledge their lack of quality at all. Here's an example of what he wrote.
[p= ]The four elements; the water, air, fire, and earth. Years ago, they are all against each other. they are arguing about who is the most powerful of them all. They usually fight each other, but in different chances. Water always fights Fire, while Air and Earth usually attack each other. One day, they meet each other in the space. they are very angry at each other so after exchanging bad looks to one another, they started to run towards their opponents to kill them. They all move in full speed then, the clash happened. It resulted in to a bright explosion. The explosion caused for the elements to combine and as a result, the world, Earth, was created. In the elements anger, many creature lived up to now...[/p]
Several things:
1. Ugly phrasing.
2. Engrishy
3. Derivative
4. Lame use of punctuation
5. Stale
6. "Many creature lived up to now", WTF does that mean?
Just several things. I would say these to him, but he doesn't seem to understand the concept of constructive criticism. For example. I said that his essay was a little generic, he didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. He treats all criticism as insults. He takes them as directly pointed to him, instead of his work, and he never takes it.
Here's more:
I can point out a lot of things here. I'm too tired to though.
So, my friend started writing stories. And I hate them. I don't hate them with a burning passion, but I hate them in a way that they suck. Really suck. He started writing them once he got this idea for some lamely annoying series that he though of, and he started writing ugly stories ever since. It was a very lazy attempt that I've talked to all of my friends with the exception of him.
He's a good friend, he's nice. But his stories suck. Yet for some reason, he doesn't seem to acknowledge their lack of quality at all. Here's an example of what he wrote.
[p= ]The four elements; the water, air, fire, and earth. Years ago, they are all against each other. they are arguing about who is the most powerful of them all. They usually fight each other, but in different chances. Water always fights Fire, while Air and Earth usually attack each other. One day, they meet each other in the space. they are very angry at each other so after exchanging bad looks to one another, they started to run towards their opponents to kill them. They all move in full speed then, the clash happened. It resulted in to a bright explosion. The explosion caused for the elements to combine and as a result, the world, Earth, was created. In the elements anger, many creature lived up to now...[/p]
Several things:
1. Ugly phrasing.
2. Engrishy
3. Derivative
4. Lame use of punctuation
5. Stale
6. "Many creature lived up to now", WTF does that mean?
Just several things. I would say these to him, but he doesn't seem to understand the concept of constructive criticism. For example. I said that his essay was a little generic, he didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. He treats all criticism as insults. He takes them as directly pointed to him, instead of his work, and he never takes it.
Here's more:
Once there was a boy. He is already an orphan, his parents died when he was one year old due to the war that occurred in their place. The war caused a lot of damages. Many lives were ended and many building were destroyed. The boy is now all alone by himself. He lives in a small house. He sells rags so that he can somehow earn money for his own survival.
Every night, he stares out his window and looks to the sky. He close his eyes and whispered, "I wish I will see my parents even just in my dreams," as he say these words, tears started to fall from his closed eyes.
Without the knowledge of the boy, a wishing star heard him. The star stares at the boy and starts thinking. The star knows the wishing stars' rule. The is that they can freely make human wishes come true, but in one condition and it is the star will die. When wishing stars die, they became shooting stars that grants wishes. When the star die, the wish that it chooses to be fulfilled will surely be fulfilled.
The star thinks of what he will do. Then the star's mother called it, "Hey! Dalut, where are you? It is time to sleep, I told you! You stubborn star!"
Dalut is the name of the wishing star. He is known as a mean star. He always bully other stars, especially the young once. Dalut looked back to the boy. Dalut can hear his wishes, then Dalut laughed at him and said, "What a poor boy. Let's see if your wish will come true," then he laughed again.
It was already time for Dalut to sleep but he can't. the boy was still staring at the stars that time. the boy was still crying. Dalut watches every movement of the boy. It is also time for the boy to sleep and so the boy fixes the floor where he will sleep. Before he closed his eyes, he looked at the starts again. He was amazed to what he was. He saw a shooting star. He looks at it as it fell until it is already out of sight. The boy was already sleepy so he went to sleep.
"Marcus?" the boy heard his name in his dream. "Marcus?" the boy turned around and he saw his mother. He runs as fast as he could approaching ti his mother. "I hope this is not just a dream, mother." the boy said. "I also hoped, but someone is waiting for you." replied his mother. "Who?" the boy asked. His mother replied, "Your father. He is still alive. Now go and look for him!"
In his mother's last word, the boy-Marcus- waked. The sun is now shining. He thought of what his mother said. He run and looked for his father in a hurry, but as he opened the door of his room, he saw a man waiting at the kitchen. The boy looks at the man's face as he walks near him. As Marcus recognizes the face, tears run down this cheeks. Marcus shouted, "FATHER!"
...Meanwhile...
"Dulat? Dulat! Where are you?" shouted the mother of Dulat. She waited but there is no response. She approach Dulat and to her surprise, Dulat is no where. the mother of Dulat cried then a senior star came near her and said, "I congratulate you, Semerya. Dulat has made a good job last night." "What are you saying, master Lopi?" she asked. The senior star answered, "Dulat made his job as a wishing star last night. He made a little boy very happy. I am very proud of your son." Semerya cried and whispered, "I am very proud of you Dulat. I am very proud of you."
Every night, he stares out his window and looks to the sky. He close his eyes and whispered, "I wish I will see my parents even just in my dreams," as he say these words, tears started to fall from his closed eyes.
Without the knowledge of the boy, a wishing star heard him. The star stares at the boy and starts thinking. The star knows the wishing stars' rule. The is that they can freely make human wishes come true, but in one condition and it is the star will die. When wishing stars die, they became shooting stars that grants wishes. When the star die, the wish that it chooses to be fulfilled will surely be fulfilled.
The star thinks of what he will do. Then the star's mother called it, "Hey! Dalut, where are you? It is time to sleep, I told you! You stubborn star!"
Dalut is the name of the wishing star. He is known as a mean star. He always bully other stars, especially the young once. Dalut looked back to the boy. Dalut can hear his wishes, then Dalut laughed at him and said, "What a poor boy. Let's see if your wish will come true," then he laughed again.
It was already time for Dalut to sleep but he can't. the boy was still staring at the stars that time. the boy was still crying. Dalut watches every movement of the boy. It is also time for the boy to sleep and so the boy fixes the floor where he will sleep. Before he closed his eyes, he looked at the starts again. He was amazed to what he was. He saw a shooting star. He looks at it as it fell until it is already out of sight. The boy was already sleepy so he went to sleep.
"Marcus?" the boy heard his name in his dream. "Marcus?" the boy turned around and he saw his mother. He runs as fast as he could approaching ti his mother. "I hope this is not just a dream, mother." the boy said. "I also hoped, but someone is waiting for you." replied his mother. "Who?" the boy asked. His mother replied, "Your father. He is still alive. Now go and look for him!"
In his mother's last word, the boy-Marcus- waked. The sun is now shining. He thought of what his mother said. He run and looked for his father in a hurry, but as he opened the door of his room, he saw a man waiting at the kitchen. The boy looks at the man's face as he walks near him. As Marcus recognizes the face, tears run down this cheeks. Marcus shouted, "FATHER!"
...Meanwhile...
"Dulat? Dulat! Where are you?" shouted the mother of Dulat. She waited but there is no response. She approach Dulat and to her surprise, Dulat is no where. the mother of Dulat cried then a senior star came near her and said, "I congratulate you, Semerya. Dulat has made a good job last night." "What are you saying, master Lopi?" she asked. The senior star answered, "Dulat made his job as a wishing star last night. He made a little boy very happy. I am very proud of your son." Semerya cried and whispered, "I am very proud of you Dulat. I am very proud of you."
I can point out a lot of things here. I'm too tired to though.
