Men's toiletries

[BlueStar]

OK, bear with me here. If you live with a female (Your girlfriend, wife, mum, carer) go to the bathroom and have a look at their products. Right, what do they smell like? Lemon, strawberries, kiwi, jasmine. Simple, right? Women have this shit sorted. Go to the shops, look at the shampoo. This one's orange. It has a picture of an orange on it and it's called orange crush or something. Like oranges? Want to smell like oranges? This shit's for you. Don't like oranges? No problem, try the strawberry and raspberry one next to it, pet.

Now what scents do your multi-purpose clean-everything body washes have? I'll tell you what they smell like, you have no fucking idea, because your stuff isn't called "Lemon body wash" it's called stuff like "Excite" "Fever" "Instinct" and "Ocean Spray." Things that don't fucking smell of anything. Well, apart from ocean spray maybe. And as someone who lives by the sea I can tell you if ocean spray smells of anything at all it's sewage or seaweed.

So when I'm in a shop, because I don't want to stand there like a pillock sniffing every bottle to see if Power Wave smells like menthol or grapefruit I just end up picking the yellow one. Because at least you know that's usually some kind of citrus stuff. But they can't call it citrus in case people go "What, citrus? Like, oranges and lemons and that? I don't want to smell like fruit, what do you think I am, some kind of hurmasex? I wanna smell like Sharp Edge!"

They might as well just be honest and call the scents "Teenage Desperation" or "Rapist's Choice" seeing as the naming conventions seem to be tied in with the whole marketing angle of targeting those groups.

 

[retKHAAAN]

Right. And who exactly were they marketing "Teen Spirit" towards? Cho-Mos?

 

[Depravo]

My deodorant/shower gel is called 'Africa'. It doesn't specify exactly which part of Africa it's supposed to smell like.

 

[emigre]

I'm with you here, Brother!

 

[Paarish]

I personally like Lynx's Chocolate.
Does what it says on the tin

 

[nugundam0079]

OK, bear with me here. If you live with a female (Your girlfriend, wife, mum, carer) go to the bathroom and have a look at their products. Right, what do they smell like? Lemon, strawberries, kiwi, jasmine. Simple, right? Women have this shit sorted. Go to the shops, look at the shampoo. This one's orange. It has a picture of an orange on it and it's called orange crush or something. Like oranges? Want to smell like oranges? This shit's for you. Don't like oranges? No problem, try the strawberry and raspberry one next to it, pet.

Now what scents do your multi-purpose clean-everything body washes have? I'll tell you what they smell like, you have no fucking idea, because your stuff isn't called "Lemon body wash" it's called stuff like "Excite" "Fever" "Instinct" and "Ocean Spray." Things that don't fucking smell of anything. Well, apart from ocean spray maybe. And as someone who lives by the sea I can tell you if ocean spray smells of anything at all it's sewage or seaweed.

So when I'm in a shop, because I don't want to stand there like a pillock sniffing every bottle to see if Power Wave smells like menthol or grapefruit I just end up picking the yellow one. Because at least you know that's usually some kind of citrus stuff. But they can't call it citrus in case people go "What, citrus? Like, oranges and lemons and that? I don't want to smell like fruit, what do you think I am, some kind of hurmasex? I wanna smell like Sharp Edge!"

They might as well just be honest and call the scents "Teenage Desperation" or "Rapist's Choice" seeing as the naming conventions seem to be tied in with the whole marketing angle of targeting those groups.

LOL "Rapist's Choice" you euro bro's are alright.

 

[cosmiccow]

LOL
So damn true. A lot of men shower gels smell very unidentifiable too (And not good)

I also hate Musk/Moschus. It seems to be in a lot of odors. It's supposed to be an Aphrodisiac.
It certainly doesn't attract ME. It just smells bad.

End of DeodoRANT. LOLOL

 

[ecko]

End of DeodoRANT. LOLOL

i see what you did there

 

[Deleted_171835]

That's why I use women toiletries for stuff like shampoo and conditioner (not even joking). That shit is done right.

Not for deodorant, though.

 

[mameks]

That's why I use women toiletries for stuff like shampoo and conditioner (not even joking). That shit is done right.

Not for deodorant, though.

This.
Shampoo for men is really shite.

 

[jamesaa]

Marks and Spenser 'Harvard' does me just fine.

How the hell you're meant to know what it smells like from that name i have no idea

My solution to this problem - stick to the same thing all the time, the only time i try something new is if someone buys on of those "I obviously think you stink" gift pack things for christmas, if i prefer that i switch, if not back to what i always use

For all I care they could be called "Generic Smell 1", "Generic Smell 2" etc, it's about as useful as "Cool Metal", "Team Force" or brand new from Lynx "Rapist's Choice"

 

[bowlofspiders]

That's why I use women toiletries for stuff like shampoo and conditioner (not even joking). That shit is done right.

Not for deodorant, though.

Sadly, I do the same. I still use men's deodorant, though.

 

[Nujui]

I kinda do the same as well.

 

[Dan9550]

hahaha so true

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

(I wouldn't normally do an image-only post, but in this case I believe it's relevant)

 

[Rayder]

I always thought they should make scents for men that are actually manly, like; auto-shop, beef jerky, gasoline, fresh leather or gyro meat type scents. Of course, I guess women wouldn't exactly appreciate those scents like men do, but it certainly beats the hell out of smelling like flowers or some indeterminable scent that most men's colognes/body washes/shampoos's smell like.


The shampoo I use is Suave for men - Deep Clean. Recently, they added peppermint to it for whatever reason. At least I know what that's supposed to smell like though.

My anti-perspirant is, in my opinion, the best kind; unscented.

Heh, my dad always called cologne/perfume "stink-pretty".

I'll tell ya though, I don't know what the name of this one woman's perfume is, but it smells like B.O. to me. I was talking to this girl when another walked by smelling of B.O. (that's body odor in case you didn't know), I commented on the fact that the girl smelled like she needed to shower and the girl I was talking to told me that it was a perfume. She told me the name, but I don't remember anymore.
Why would anyone purposely TRY to smell like they need to bathe?

 

[nryn99]

for shampoo, i use head&shoulders. i usually use the green or blue. i think green was supposed to be menthol?

for deodorant. i just choose a different color everytime.

 

[someonewhodied]

I just use womens shampoo since its much better for my longer-than-most-guys' hair.

I don't use deode often. I almost never sweat. (I use it during summer when its hot and everyone smells like sweat, but....other times, not really.)

 

[Rydian]

I'm rocking Cool Blast and Intensity here. At least now. I switch up every time, and now I think I'll go try the women's stuff next time.

 

[raulpica]

This is one of the best blog entries EVER.