Why men need table skirts

[nloding]

According to the History Channel's History Of Sex show, table skirts were invented in the Victorian Era to prevent an unnatural union between man and furniture. They thought this might happen because they believed the mere sight of a 'limb' (read: leg) would cause uncontrollable sexual frenzy. (partial source that quotes the episode)

So I had to Google if anyone had ever had sex with a table.

http://www.nbc10.com/news/15734256/detail.html

March 28, 2008 -- Man Arrested For Having Sex With Picnic Table.

Wow.

I don't even know where to begin. I laughed so hard my throat hurts now. He had to clean the table AND THE DECK!

 

[moozxy]

Haha, I don't get why they have to be arrested though.
More man-gets-arrested-for-having-sex-with-an-inanimate-object stories
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml.../26/nsex126.xml
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml...lamppost106.xml

 

[scubersteve]

They were probobly arrested for being nude in public.

 

[azotyp]

The real question is why they write that guy was having sex, like doing that with things that arent live is rather masturbation not sex, but maybe that picnic table was alive

maybe it had a ghost of his dead wife

(too much japanese horrors

).

 

[nloding]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

 

[xcalibur]

some 16 year old got caught and charged for havng sex with a goat.

 

[Harsky]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

 

[xcalibur]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

I lolled so hard, my mum asked me what was wrong.

 

[Westside]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

I lolled so hard, my mum asked me what was wrong.

Why didn't you tell her the reason...
Anyway, that's disgusting...

 

[moozxy]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

The image I had in my head was one of a guy humping a drain on the pavement.

 

[xcalibur]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

The image I had in my head was one of a guy humping a drain on the pavement.

But that wouldn't be the pavement would it?

 

[moozxy]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

The image I had in my head was one of a guy humping a drain on the pavement.

But that wouldn't be the pavement would it?

It is in my mind. Like the way an asshole would be a part of any person, so a drain is to a pavement.

 

[Artheido]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

The image I had in my head was one of a guy humping a drain on the pavement.

But that wouldn't be the pavement would it?

It is in my mind. Like the way an asshole would be a part of any person, so a drain is to a pavement.

I usually see drains on the side of roads o.O

 

[greyhound]

From the Telegraph articles above:

"In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs."

That's even better. I bet that chafes.

How the hell does that work? Does he hire a drill and then make a hole and proceed to hump it? Does he get in his car, drive slowly along the pavements and see for any defects? Does he... ah forget this.

adds new meaning to the term "curb-crawling"

 

[tomqman]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

 

[cardyology]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

WTF?

 

[Westside]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

WTF?

I believe he is referring to the Compact Dicks (CD) technique in where you take a CD's hole... well, you get the idea.

 

[tomqman]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

WTF?

lol

 

[moozxy]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

WTF?

I believe he is referring to the Compact Dicks (CD) technique in where you take a CD's hole... well, you get the idea.

How does it fit? O.o

 

[tomqman]

well some kid at my old skool jacked off with a rayman ps1 game lol

WTF?

I believe he is referring to the Compact Dicks (CD) technique in where you take a CD's hole... well, you get the idea.

How does it fit? O.o

spaghetti dick and he broke the game and it wasnt even his