Friendship Bracelet

*hugs*


i doubt i can say anything to make you feel better :/
actions speak louder than words no?

mate, there's nothing else to say but it sucks when you feel like you're slipping away from some really close people.

But sometimes (and I'm just guessing here - I don't know the full deal), it can be something you do. Just a general mood or attitude may make you seem less approachable or fun to hang with or something. You may not even realise you do it, and may not actually be in a mood/unapproachable but it can appear that way.

maybe be yourself times two. Be twice what you normally are - enunciate your personality, and it'll make it plainly obvious to the people that you're close with WHY they chose to be friends with you. What it is they love about you.

Don't just give in and admit defeat. That only makes things worse. They may feel like you're just as much a friend to you as they are to you, but don't feel like it's reciprocated because of a change in yourself.

Give it a try. I swear I've nearly drifted too far/lost people before, and it scares and upsets me a fair bit, because my friends are my life, y'know.

I know I'm the problem here. I mean...it was a loooong time before I ever even made a friend and even then, I could still never feel close. Maybe it's because I've been used a couple of times...maybe it's something else.

Another problem is that I'm often seen as the clown. I make people laugh. I make people smile. But other than that...I wouldn't know how to approach them. I'm not sure if they'll accept me without the humor. I'm not sure if they'll accept me at all. D:

Oh, and thanks tinymonkeyt. *hugs back*

[quote name='distorted.frequency' post='1172570' date='May 28 2008, 02:09 AM']I know I'm the problem here. I mean...it was a loooong time before I ever even made a friend and even then, I could still never feel close. Maybe it's because I've been used a couple of times...maybe it's something else.

Another problem is that I'm often seen as the clown. I make people laugh. I make people smile. But other than that...I wouldn't know how to approach them. I'm not sure if they'll accept me without the humor. I'm not sure if they'll accept me at all. D:[/quote]

I have exactly the same problem. Seriously man, reading that is like reading a description of myself!

I've always been the funny one - throughout high school I had to hide behind my humour through fear of people not liking me.

Now I'm at University and a couple of years older...yeah, I still do it. But you just have to be yourself. Know when to find the balance between humour and seriousness.

One thing about getting close with friends is that they will confide in you, feel comfortable talking around you and feel like they can come to you for advice. Granted, not on everything (everyone has their secrets) but on a lot of things.

I can't be of too much help over the net...but you gotta try and 'figure out' people. Learn how to read them. If they're not themselves and a seem a bit reserved, something's probably bothering them. They might not want to talk about it, but that's where you can try and cheer em up. Not over the top, but make em smile.

And boundaries too - i know of many people that go that bit 'too far' with trying to be funny or whatever and people just don't know what to do except be all awkward.

Remember, being the 'funny one' is good. And people like their friends to make em laugh, or make em smile to cheer them up when they're down. But they want a friend, not a comedian.

I know you say it's hard to get close to people, and it is; especially if you say you've been used in the past. But you'll never get anywhere if you don't bite the bullet and take the step. If you seem a bit reserved and not into being closer with friends as they might be, then not only is it hard for you - it becomes hard for them.

Being friends with someone is all about ease and comfort - being comfortable around them, finding it easy to talk to them etc. They don't want to have to work for it, like they have to earn you somehow...

Anyway, i've probably babbled a bit, not made much sense or possibly made you feel worse? I hope not anyway!

Hopefully I've given you some things you can think about a maybe work on.

The number of times i've been in your situation and i've lost poeple, close people, because of not trying and just giving up on it...but now i've got a bit more confidence, i'm not gonna let friends slip away (or rather, let myself slip away from friends).

All the best of luck to you, mate; I hope stuff does work out for you.

Thanks muckers. Now only if it was as easy as just saying all of that to myself. Haha.

The situation I'm in is still a lot more complicated than that...and I doubt it's gonna end on a happy note. *sighs*

That's cool, glad I could (try to) be of help to ya.

Whatever it is, if it's complicated it's best to talk things through. Personal experience, and experience of my friends, has shown me that usually stuff needs to be said out in the open for both people (or everyone if it's more than one) to deal with and sort out.

Y'know, stuff that you think but you don't say.

I'm sure this all sounds easier said than done, and it always does when coming from someone else, but when you do it you might realise that it's the best course for things. Talking gets stuff out in the open, how you real feel, what you really think. But it's taking the step and getting the conversation going.

If you think the friendship still has something to it, and you still want it, then fight for it back as best you can. You got nothing to lose, and you may turn out stronger than before because you show people what they mean to you.

I've said it a lot of times...and I'll say it again. Thanks.

...thing is, I wish I could talk things through. I know I can do it. I'm willing to do it. But it was because of my willingness to talk about it that made the person drift away. And I just can't seem to hate her for that.