Yeah, for stealing all of our banhammers, apparently. I want mine back, but I'll settle for a bangavel.I do believe the gorillas got banned somewhere on this site.
What is the absolute stupidest joke you know?
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That was the band that got bannedI do believe the gorillas got banned somewhere on this site.
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Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.
A: Because he neverlands.
Guys. I got a joke.
3 guys go to a bar. They are all masculine and strong, so naturally they want to challenge each other to a competition.
So the three of them go to the back, outside behind the bar. There's a pile of bricks (because bricks just appear in jokes), and so they decide to have a brick throwing contest.
First guy, throws a brick. Disappears into a speck into the sky, and then it comes back down. 15 seconds hang time.
Second guy goes. He lobs a brick into the air, and it vanishes into the sky. It finally plops into the ground for a total of 20 seconds!
Last guy goes. He looks like he is a serious contender. He winds up, and he hurls the brick with so much oomph.
15 seconds go by. Nothing. 25 seconds go by... still nothing. 1 minute passes. This guy must be so strong. He threw a brick so hard it never came down. He's the strongest man.
Hahaha.
3 guys go to a bar. They are all masculine and strong, so naturally they want to challenge each other to a competition.
So the three of them go to the back, outside behind the bar. There's a pile of bricks (because bricks just appear in jokes), and so they decide to have a brick throwing contest.
First guy, throws a brick. Disappears into a speck into the sky, and then it comes back down. 15 seconds hang time.
Second guy goes. He lobs a brick into the air, and it vanishes into the sky. It finally plops into the ground for a total of 20 seconds!
Last guy goes. He looks like he is a serious contender. He winds up, and he hurls the brick with so much oomph.
15 seconds go by. Nothing. 25 seconds go by... still nothing. 1 minute passes. This guy must be so strong. He threw a brick so hard it never came down. He's the strongest man.
Hahaha.
Ne. It got quiet. Did you like that one @Neo Draven ? I got more. People say I'm funny.
You understood the assignment. I have heard few jokes dumber than that one. Well done.
Thanks for the compliment. I'm feeling generous now.
One more.
This one requires audience feedback though. I don't want to be one-sided.
Here we go!
So an old man is riding backseat to an old lady on a plane. The old lady has a dog. It's yipping and yapping. Really grating on the guy. Well, at least it's late 1980, so the old man decides to mellow out by lighting up a cigar.
Not a moment after he started feeling relaxed, the old lady with the annoying dog decides to add her annoying voice to the mix.
"Would ya mind putting that cigar out!? Fluffy here is allergic to cigar smoke."
"Well, I'm allergic to dogs," the old man chimes back.
"What can I do to get you to put out that stinky cigar, mister," the old lady says.
"I'll do it if you put out that dog."
"Fine!"
Surprised to hear that the old lady is willing to snuff out her own precious toy poodle, the mister was intrigued.
"Okay. I'm going to toss my cigar out of the airlock if are willing to toss out your dog."
"Okay." says the woman, not missing a beat.
Still doubtful of the situation, thinking that she must have a trick up her sleeve, he doubles down....
"You have to toss the dog first, though, that's the only way."
Surprisingly, the old woman agrees to this, and callously tosses her dog out of the airlock without any hesitation.
The old man can't believe that this is happening, but decides that it would be just too cruel to renege on his wager. So, he tosses the cigar thinking that the situation was settled... but it was not.
Little did he notice, the old woman still had her dog's leash in hand. When he realized his folly, it was already too late. The old woman yanked on the leash and up popped the dog! But guess what was in its mouth?
One more.
This one requires audience feedback though. I don't want to be one-sided.
Here we go!
So an old man is riding backseat to an old lady on a plane. The old lady has a dog. It's yipping and yapping. Really grating on the guy. Well, at least it's late 1980, so the old man decides to mellow out by lighting up a cigar.
Not a moment after he started feeling relaxed, the old lady with the annoying dog decides to add her annoying voice to the mix.
"Would ya mind putting that cigar out!? Fluffy here is allergic to cigar smoke."
"Well, I'm allergic to dogs," the old man chimes back.
"What can I do to get you to put out that stinky cigar, mister," the old lady says.
"I'll do it if you put out that dog."
"Fine!"
Surprised to hear that the old lady is willing to snuff out her own precious toy poodle, the mister was intrigued.
"Okay. I'm going to toss my cigar out of the airlock if are willing to toss out your dog."
"Okay." says the woman, not missing a beat.
Still doubtful of the situation, thinking that she must have a trick up her sleeve, he doubles down....
"You have to toss the dog first, though, that's the only way."
Surprisingly, the old woman agrees to this, and callously tosses her dog out of the airlock without any hesitation.
The old man can't believe that this is happening, but decides that it would be just too cruel to renege on his wager. So, he tosses the cigar thinking that the situation was settled... but it was not.
Little did he notice, the old woman still had her dog's leash in hand. When he realized his folly, it was already too late. The old woman yanked on the leash and up popped the dog! But guess what was in its mouth?
Last edited by tabzer,
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
Dumb, but I still have to laugh at it.
In his sleevies.
Dumb, but I still have to laugh at it.
Did you figure out where the brick came from?
This was my first time attempting the joke on a forum.
It's a little higher maintenance, but basically the dog caught the brick that the man from the previous joke threw. It's the stupidest.
2 chemists walk into a bar, the first one asks for H2O. The second one says "I'll have H2O too". He dies
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