Were there any signs that led you to realising you're autistic?

[Maximumbeans]

My daughter has got a test with a professional to help try and figure out if she has SEN. My wife and I have been waiting for this for a long, long time, and it might be what we need to explain some of the ways we can understand and support her better.

Thing is, the more we really observe her needs and tendencies, the more my wife has started looking at me with the side eye. There's a lot about her behaviour that overlaps with my own and I'm starting to think that there might be reasons for the ways I think and feel and behave beyond the stance my mum seemed to take, i.e. 'be quiet', 'calm down', 'stop talking', etc. I'm sure you've all heard the list.

Now I don't want to assume anything and rush to label myself, if anything I think it makes more sense to look for reasons that I'm neurotypical than rush to try and find justification for why I'm not.

So, were there any signs, tendencies, etc. that helped any of you realise that you were autistic? Or anything that stood out to parents, carers, friends?

 

[Jayro]

TONS of signs, but they weren't well-known back in the 90's when I had my diagnosis of A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder), back when autism was famously being misdiagnosed as... A.D.D.

I didn't realize I was autistic until 38, and everything just clicked into place as to why I am the way that I am.

 

[Veho]

If your daughter is diagnosed with autism, go talk to the specialist, and make a (mental) note of every behavioral or developmental aspect the doctor mentions that you comment (or feel like commenting) with "but that's normal" or "doesn't everyone do/feel like that?".
It's how most parents realize they're on the spectrum as well

The first sign that you might be autistic is "having felt weird / strange / different / like an outsider / not exactly rejected but not exactly fitting in either, for as long as you can remember".

A second sign is listening to another autistic person talking about their experiences and finding them familiar and identifiable.

Since autism is a large spectrum, you might not have the same symptoms or manifestations, but you will recognize the ~vibe~.

There is no need to jump to conclusions or anything, but if you identify with a bunch of your daughter's behaviors, you will be able to put yourself in her shoes, and better understand and support her, so that's a good thing.

 

[Maximumbeans]

If your daughter is diagnosed with autism, go talk to the specialist, and make a (mental) note of every behavioral or developmental aspect the doctor mentions that you comment (or feel like commenting) with "but that's normal" or "doesn't everyone do/feel like that?".
It's how most parents realize they're on the spectrum as well

That's an excellent point, I'll watch out for those moments!

The first sign that you might be autistic is "having felt weird / strange / different / like an outsider / not exactly rejected but not exactly fitting in either, for as long as you can remember".

A second sign is listening to another autistic person talking about their experiences and finding them familiar and identifiable.

Since autism is a large spectrum, you might not have the same symptoms or manifestations, but you will recognize the ~vibe~.

There is no need to jump to conclusions or anything, but if you identify with a bunch of your daughter's behaviors, you will be able to put yourself in her shoes, and better understand and support her, so that's a good thing.

Thank you for all this. I think I'll keep watching and reflecting for now, see where these overlaps happen and learn what I can about us both. Great response, so thanks again.

 

[Maximumbeans]

Alright, so as an update to this, she had her assessment yesterday and she has been diagnosed autistic. We’re really happy about this as it’s justified everything we’ve known for a while now.

Now to think about whether I want to join the two-and-a-half-year queue in my area for an assessment myself

 

[ModernSithLord]

Alright, so as an update to this, she had her assessment yesterday and she has been diagnosed autistic. We’re really happy about this as it’s justified everything we’ve known for a while now.

Now to think about whether I want to join the two-and-a-half-year queue in my area for an assessment myself

Maximumbeans,

That is great to hear, I posted in this group a while back but personally I think it was awareness i was not a social butterfly as most people & that the rate I learned new information at seemed different then others. I did not get a full diagnosis until I was 25 and I just turned 32, It definitely has been an uphill battle since learning all of that. Kudos for you to getting an assessment for your daughter sooner rather than later.

 

[Maximumbeans]

Maximumbeans,

That is great to hear, I posted in this group a while back but personally I think it was awareness i was not a social butterfly as most people & that the rate I learned new information at seemed different then others. I did not get a full diagnosis until I was 25 and I just turned 32, It definitely has been an uphill battle since learning all of that. Kudos for you to getting an assessment for your daughter sooner rather than later.

Thank you very much. I've found that the support of people like you has been wonderful. I was worried people would rebuff the idea or advise that I'd already know if I needed it, but it's been the total opposite. I can relate to the rate of learning new information, and things really seem to stick in my head more than a lot of other people I know. Others also seem to be able to just kind of shrug stuff off, whereas I ruminate on it for days and can't let it go. It's like my mind has to really steep in something. I'm also about to turn 32!

 

[ModernSithLord]

Thank you very much. I've found that the support of people like you has been wonderful. I was worried people would rebuff the idea or advise that I'd already know if I needed it, but it's been the total opposite. I can relate to the rate of learning new information, and things really seem to stick in my head more than a lot of other people I know. Others also seem to be able to just kind of shrug stuff off, whereas I ruminate on it for days and can't let it go. It's like my mind has to really steep in something. I'm also about to turn 32!

Ofc you are welcome, that same exact thing makes me nervous as well when talking to people about being on the spectrum. It is something i rarely do.

 

[Maximumbeans]

Ofc you are welcome, that same exact thing makes me nervous as well when talking to people about being on the spectrum. It is something i rarely do.

I can understand that. Even if I eventually end up with a diagnosis somewhere down the line, I doubt I'll want to bring it up with people outside of my friends and family.

 

[SAIYAN48]

Being born early was the sign for me.

 

[ModernSithLord]

I can understand that. Even if I eventually end up with a diagnosis somewhere down the line, I doubt I'll want to bring it up with people outside of my friends and family.

My grandmother, aunt & mother had some suspicions but my father was against getting a full diagnosis until I was much older when he actually started reading up on aspergers. Irony.

 

[SylverReZ]

Being born early was the sign for me.

I was the same. Nowadays, you have to wait for years to get a diagnosis. Health care sucks.

 

[ModernSithLord]

I was the same. Nowadays, you have to wait for years to get a diagnosis. Health care sucks.

Isn't that the truth.

 

[SylverReZ]

Isn't that the truth.

I got diagnosed with autism at birth. Its quite rare these days.

 

[SAIYAN48]

Took them 3 years for me.

 

[ModernSithLord]

Took a psychiatrist like 5 to 10 minutes to determine that for me. He also had me do some specific tests to know for sure.

 

[Maximumbeans]

My grandmother, aunt & mother had some suspicions but my father was against getting a full diagnosis until I was much older when he actually started reading up on aspergers. Irony.

Even as a grown man I’m hiding the fact that I’m pursuing a diagnosis from my mother. I know what her opinion will be and I just don’t want it.

 

[ModernSithLord]

Even as a grown man I’m hiding the fact that I’m pursuing a diagnosis from my mother. I know what her opinion will be and I just don’t want it.

I am sorry to hear that maxium, my mother encouraged a little bit in an aggressive manor.

 

[Veho]

Even as a grown man I’m hiding the fact that I’m pursuing a diagnosis from my mother. I know what her opinion will be and I just don’t want it.

Parents are usually touchy and in denial about things they failed to notice in their kids, so sometimes keeping quiet is better than the uphill battle of trying to convince them of... anything really.

 

[Maximumbeans]

Parents are usually touchy and in denial about things they failed to notice in their kids, so sometimes keeping quiet is better than the uphill battle of trying to convince them of... anything really.

You're absolutely right.