Blog entries by jumpman17
Digging through my harddrive, I found this buried in a folder deep in the bowels of junk. I wrote this back in high school. I remember we had to make a shoe from clay in pottery class for some reason, and for an even odder reason, we had to write a one page story about it. I found the story...
August 18, 2009
An old man comes in looking for typewriter ribbon.
Man: I need the tape for my Smith Corona machine.
Me: Which model do you have?
Man: A Smith Corona.
Me: But which model?
Man: I dunno.
Me: Well, we have the H and K series ribbons.
Man: No, I bought that last time, I want the...
Alright, I need at least 60 people to answer 5 multiple choice questions, watch a 5 minute YouTube video (and maybe look at a brochure), and then answer another 5 multiple choice questions.
No names are asked for, no e-mails, not even your IP address will be recorded.
What's in it for you? The...
June 17, 2008
So a lady comes in today to pick up her custom name plate. The problem is we have don't have said nameplate, nor do we have any paperwork for the order. This of course sent her into a blind rage and she began to ramble on about our incompetence. We ended up taking down her info and...
June 19, 2008
Lady: I want this, but for 2009.
Me: We don't have the 2009 calendars out yet.
Lady: But you have them?
Me: Yes, we have received them but we haven't started bringing them out yet.
Lady: But I need the 09 calendar and I don't live close.
Me: Sorry, we don't have 2009 out yet.
Lady...
June 15, 2008
*So, It's about 15 minutes to closing time, and I'm running around collection a bunch of furniture for a guy (a desk, 5 chairs, a file cart, a file cabinet). A man comes up to me and presents me with a Zebra G-301 gel pen.
Man: Do you have refills for these?
Me: For the gel? No...
June 12, 2008
Lady: And I'm returning these ink cartridges.
Me: Do you have a Staples Rewards card?
Lady: No.
Me: Our policy has changed and we no longer give $3 coupons for ink. The $3 goes onto your Rewards card and you'll get that money at the end of the quarter.
Lady: Your other store gave...
I'm so freaking mad at Staples right now.
So, my first days back had this schedule.
5-15 - 10 hour day
5-16 - 10 hour day
5-17 - 12 hour day (3 PM to 3 AM)
5-18 - off
Then the manager asks me if I'd work at 5 AM on Monday and made it sound like a one time thing. Next thing I know, this is on...
From: [email protected]
Subject: Google Groups: Your subscription request is denied
If this is some kind of scam, wouldn't actually using my e-mail address make more sense?
I have a class that is held in a Mac lab. The Macs do not like me apparently. Today I downloaded a .zip file and tried to unpack it. It unpacked the first file, then locked up. So I clicked cancel. It told me it was cancelling, but never did anything. So I tell the program to exit. Nothing. So I...
Okay, I'm gonna talk about customers in general now.
No, I won't do your shopping for you
I understand that I'm there to help you locate items. I am not, however, there to do your shopping for you. I have other things to get done and other customers to help. I do not have the time to show you...
So I'm waiting at the bus stop so I don't have to do the 15 minute walk back to my dorm in the negative degree weather. Sign said 7 minutes which is less time in the cold than 15. So I wait by the curb with two other people. The bus comes, four people get out from the back door, and the driver...
January 4, 2008
Lady: What's the difference between these two chairs?
Me: The color. One is black, the other is burgundy.
Lady: But this one is so much cheaper.
Me: That's because it's on clearance.
Lady: What's wrong with it?
Me: Nothing.
Lady: Then why is it cheaper?
Me: Because we are getting...
January 2, 2008
Lady: Do you have any file folders that aren't pieces of s***?
Me: Excuse me?
Lady: Do you have...any file folders...that aren't...pieces of s***?
Me: I'm...not sure what you mean.
Lady: I've ordered three different ones online from you and they all suck.
Me: What's wrong with...
January 1, 2008
Guy: I'm looking for the Dome accounting books.
Me: We don't have those.
Guy: You used to.
Me: Yes, a year and a half ago. All we have now is the Adams equivalent.
*I take him to them.
Guy: Monthly?
Me: We have weekly too.
Guy: I need daily.
Me: We don't have daily.
Guy: This...
December 31, 2007
There are only 2 ways to enter a rewards check at the register. One is to run it as a coupon. This way removes the amount from your purchase as well as any tax from that amount. But if you have a $20 reward check and you only spend $12, the other $8 disappears. So in the case...
December 29, 2007
Some lady is mad over at the copy center. The girl in the copy center says the lady was mad because she brought in 60 sheets on paper that she wanted copies made on and then cut. She thought she was going to get free copies because she brought in her own paper apparently. We...
December 28, 2007
*I'm at the register on cashier duty. The phone rings for customer service which is the cashier's duty to answer.
Me: Thank you for calling Staples in [city], this is [name] speaking. How can I help you? (Required greeting)
Guy on phone: Yes, I need to know if this file I have...
July 7, 2007
*To start off, we have a rule with chairs. You can buy the chair and get it in a box. Or for $5 more we will assemble it for you which will take about 15-25 minutes. Or if you're in a hurry, we'll give you the display that we built earlier for that same $5. I see a man rolling a...
June 24, 2007
Guy: I need a refill like this.
*He hands me a Cross gel ink tube. I look at what we have.
Me: Sorry, we only carry ballpoint Cross refills. Nothing gel.
Guy: Well, I've been here 2 times already looking for this refill and you never have it.
Me: We aren't able to carry every kind...
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